I am sitting here really down on myself that I am not hitting my daily goals. I have been really down on myself the past couple weeks. It has really made me think of what I see as self-respect? I have always wonder what the definition is, and not this cookie cutter meriam-websters version. 

From what I have seen this year, people have different definitions. My definition is believing in your own word so much that no one can shatter it. It is about honesty and having the delusion to keep to it. Over 2 weeks, I have consciously made the decision to say no. What I learned was that, it is liberating. It is super freeing doing the things I want, as I think I had a problem with people pleasing. I found that I would end up doing things because I did not want to perceived as rude. What changed inside me was the fact I never had enough free time to do the things I wanted. I felt like I was doing a disservice to myself. 

How could I expect to understand other people if I could not understand myself? This is something that I am working on heavy. I am trying to find more time for myself and doing the things that make me happy. I have found some good outlets and new things that I am trying. Which to be quite honest with you, is something that I have really enjoyed keeping to myself. I was someone who wanted to include everyone in as much as possible. I found out that it just taints the regard you had for it. It slowly starts to not be fun anymore and you sort of wish you hadn’t shown people. 

Keeping things to yourself may seem selfish, but I think there has to be a balance of kindness and selfishness. In a way once you be too kind you are not being kind to yourself. Being kind to yourself is the purest form of self love. I have been reflecting on this a lot on this self-respect thing. Although, I haven’t figured it out I am starting to see a bigger picture.