I recently watched a behind-the-scenes video featuring Chris Williamson, and one section about hard work really struck me. He touched on an idea that got me thinking: the effect of external accolades on our self-perception.

How do these external acknowledgments shift the way we view ourselves? Lately, I've noticed people in my life giving me compliments, and I struggle to accept them. Sometimes, the things people praise are the very aspects of myself I criticize. How does this disconnect feed into self-doubt or even self-hatred?

After coming back from vacation, I felt overwhelmed by everything coming to fruition. My work ethic, something I pride myself on, began to feel insufficient. Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m breaking promises—not to others, but to myself. Out of all the people I could let down, breaking my own word feels the worst.

People often tell me I’m too hard on myself, but that's all I’ve ever known. I’m constantly striving to improve. I replay moments in my head, wondering how I could’ve done better. It’s a double-edged sword—this drive to evolve—but it also traps me in a paradox of choice. I find myself not only having to choose the right opportunities but also weeding out the wrong ones.

Just recently, at my usual coffee shop, someone half-jokingly asked if I’d like to be a fractional CTO. My gut reaction? A mix of imposter syndrome and opportunity lust. How do you balance ambition with humility? I’m stretched thin by obligations, and I’m losing my ability to prioritize what really matters. I realize I need to start saying "no" to things that don’t align with my future, but it’s not easy.

I reflected on all of this while watching Chris Williamson’s video. Compliments on my work ethic have been rolling in, but instead of keeping me grounded, they’ve inflated my ego. People tell me to relax, but my work ethic is all I’ve got. I know I’m unreasonable with myself, but self-belief is the only thing that keeps me moving forward. It's a delicate balance, but I’m learning to navigate it.

There’s a quote by The School of Life that resonates with me: _“Most of what we try so hard to hide from others is immediately obvious to the first stranger.”_ It hit me because it speaks to how transparent we can be, even when we think we're hiding parts of ourselves.