Running Hot
This year has been a crazy start. I have traveled more for work in the past month than I have in my two and a half years at my company. Let me tell you—it is eye-opening. I was in Phoenix earlier in January, and more recently, I was in Las Vegas. I was attending a vendor conference where I was the lowest rung on the ladder. I felt very out of place; however, I found it to be amazing. As I was networking with my coworkers and other clients, they expected me to not know anything. To a certain degree, they might be right—I am way out of my depth in some topics. However, I think I started to dazzle them. Just listening and paying attention to what they were talking about is a skill set that I believe I have developed over the past couple of years—just learning to absorb information by paying attention.
If I’m being honest, I was really dreading going to Vegas. Messing up my routine was not something I wanted to do. However, just like last time, I am really glad I went. One memorable thing that happened was that I got to talk to the CMO of Dynatrace. Laura Heisman, she stopped by our booth for a photo op. She was being rushed away to make her rounds, but as she was there, I took a risk. There was no fear when I talked to her—I just went for it. I asked her, "If you could give advice to a 23-year-old just starting their career, what would you tell them?" Without any hesitation, she said, "Travel. Perspective is everything."
It didn’t really resonate with me in the moment, but as I sit here at the hotel bar later that night, it hit me. I think her advice is very valuable, but what I found to be the most informative is the fact that I just had the courage to ask her. It shows growth—not only in belief in myself but in my confidence. Little moments like those are waypoints in my life that help guide me to a better version of myself.
I always find myself reflecting on my lessons learned in a city whenever I leave it. I think escaping the monotony of my routine helps me fully realize what I have learned about myself. In contrast, it also makes me aware of the things I’ve been avoiding. A couple of weeks ago, my uncle died, and I haven’t really processed my feelings about it yet. Or maybe I have, and I’m just too stubborn to realize it. It’s the latter, by the way. Over the past couple of weeks, I have noticed that I’ve been a bit arrogant, making comments I normally wouldn’t make. I believe my grief has been manifesting as an outward expression of abrasiveness. I kind of just put two and two together right now.
At the conference, I was talking to some of my coworkers and making some comments that were definitely on the edge of what’s acceptable in a work conversation. I always try to be respectful, but sometimes I lose grip on that boundary. Someone who brought this to my attention was a Sales Director named Janel. By the way, she is fucking cool. She knows how to party and have fun, yet she also understands the boundaries between work and play. I aspire to have that balance.
Anyway, she said something that I am actively trying to work on: "Know your audience." That is something I struggle with. I need to tailor my conversations to my audience—knowing when to tone it down or ramp it up. That’s an action item I am mentally taking note of.
I learned another interesting thing on this trip: letting loose is okay. It’s actually healthy. What I found out is that it recharges you in a weird way. It allows you to give yourself grace—to be in the moment. At least, for me. I have this internal tyrant inside of me that yearns for more—constantly pursuing more. Always on the go, never letting up on the gas. I am a workaholic. I do enjoy having this work ethic, as it has gotten me this far in life. However, what I learned is that letting loose—like going clubbing in Vegas—actually rejuvenated my soul.
I was partying with my coworkers and some clients. After the conference ended, we all went to a nightclub—probably 500 to 1,000 people were there. I’ve been to a club or two before, so I knew my way around. In that moment, looking at all these incredibly successful people letting loose, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, just being in the moment—it was relieving.
A girl once told me, "It’s about balance." You know who you are. I’m just letting the world know you were right. I apologize for being late to the party, and I’m sorry for criticizing you.
I think it’s also worth mentioning that you should never get lost in the moment. That is the line I am trying to find right now.
A lot of what I’ve learned this past month or so reminds me of the Hot Hand Fallacy. That concept suggests that just because things are going great right now doesn’t mean they will continue to. I’ll put my own spin on it—whether people believe me or not, I am an optimist at heart. I want the best for myself and those around me. So, this isn’t meant to be a downer comment. The past month or so has been amazing—minus a few things.
What it has taught me is that it’s okay to have fun, but also to work hard. Let loose once in a while, but don’t let it consume you to the point where all you do is have fun. Work hard, but also enjoy the good times while you’re in them.