Brain Dump: Ambition, Career and friends
Having a personal project is something I’ve been wanting to add to my routine for a while now. I work weekends at a coffee shop, specifically brewing all the tea in the back. I thought it might be fun to create an inventory management software to streamline the process. This project would allow me to build a full-stack application, leveraging my backend knowledge while sharpening my frontend skills.
I’m motivated to create this because I’ve noticed we sometimes run out of key items, which frustrates me and upsets the bartenders. Automating the ordering process for major supplies would help solve this issue. Additionally, as I pursue a new position, I feel my resume is lacking. This project would give me something substantial to discuss in interviews. Building everything from scratch would deepen my understanding of software development. I plan to approach it as I would a real job—starting with the design phase, then developing an MVP, and gradually adding features. This structured process will refine my skills and prepare me for a solutions engineering role, which is my ultimate goal.
Recently, someone I admire landed a job at a startup, and I was over the moon for him. It’s an incredible opportunity—one that I aspire to have. I was touched when he shared the news with me, considering he’s a private person who prefers to keep things under wraps until they’re finalized. I don’t know if he sees me as a friend, but I consider him a mentor. He embodies qualities I admire. Seeing others advance in their careers fuels my drive to work harder. I hate feeling stagnant, so I push myself to keep moving forward.
When I was younger, I thought my dad was lazy for coming home and falling asleep on the couch. Now, I realize that wanting to relax is natural. I’ve been working seven days a week, maintaining a weekly blog, and pursuing other interests. It only recently hit me—I’ve become a workaholic. To me, there’s nothing wrong with that; I genuinely enjoy working. However, I’ve started noticing that people recognize it too. What I once saw as a badge of honor, others perceive as a coping mechanism. This makes me wonder—do I envy those who can slow down?
I see opportunities everywhere and feel compelled to capitalize on them. Lately, I’ve picked up chess again, and I’ve come to appreciate that it’s a game of advantage. Recognizing patterns is key, and I want to apply that mindset to life. I’ve always been fascinated by human psychology—how people think, how they react. Learning to recognize behavioral patterns faster feels like a shortcut to understanding people’s intentions.
I’ve been reflecting on the concept of extreme ownership. Many people I meet seem to be waiting for someone to save them. They tell me I’m too hard on myself and should extend myself more grace. But I’ve noticed that those who say this are not at the level I aspire to reach. I’ve met many people who treat responsibility as something to be brushed off like a bug. That’s a mindset I never want to adopt. The ability to absolve oneself of blame is an unattractive quality.
Tonight, while sitting at the bar, I had a meaningful conversation with an old friend about accountability. It evolved into a fascinating discussion about agency—something I highly value in others. Perhaps I feel like I’m losing a bit of it myself, which made the conversation even more impactful. It was refreshing.